Another question, and this one's a doozy ~

Here's my question, to invoke much needed advice...here is my dilemma at the moment:
how do you stop the negative feeling toward others, who you don't agree with? whether it is faith reasons, or frivolous things.

This is a difficult question for me because I struggle with this all. the. time.


When I was young, I tended to have more negative feelings about faith matters upon which I disagreed with others. I was very intolerant of other people's "faith journeys" and had an overwhelming desire to be "right". I defined myself very deeply by being "right". Life has taught me that people's life paths take them to places specifically designed for their sanctification. I am an instrument and need to cooperate and assist their journey in love, not judgment. Bottom line, I try to express Truth to people (as far as I understand it) in love, for the glory of God and for the benefit of their souls. It is SO not about me.

Doesn't that sound lovely? Of course that is the ideal. Among all the lessons of being good, not right, acting in love, not judgment, comes those pesky "FEELINGS". Feelings mean next to nothing. They come, they go, they take you for a ride and dump you off when they are done with you. Acting in love often times FEELS horrible. It requires humility most of all, because when your advice is argued with or ignored, it makes you FEEL frustrated. Examine your purpose in feeling frustrated. Is it about YOU or is it about LOVE. If you can say truly it is about LOVE, then I assure you the feeling will be short lived. Love is like that, a healing balm that soothes the spirit.


If you are dealing with some one who is just contentious, shake the dust off your sandals and move on. Don't waste your energy on people purposely trying to upset you. Refuse to fight. Talk about the weather.

Now, frivolous matters. Whew, it seems as I have gotten older, these are getting more difficult for me. I struggle with, "What did she MEAN by that?" and see slings and arrows in many interactions. It feels lousy. It hurts, and leads to confusion, hurt feeling and exchanging hurt for hurt. My best advice is to pray, pray, pray, fast and pray, that your feelings will not rule you, that you can over time truly "pray for those that persecute you (Mt5:44). And in most cases, the people who cause you the greatest frustration probably don't even know they are persecuting you. They have their own pain and insecurities. We are all such flawed and weak creatures that hurt each other constantly with out meaning to. We should always be begging forgiveness from God and each other. We are all in the same boat.

This leads me to share with you my prayers about this issue. They are daily petitions of mine, at least I try to make them daily. I fail frequently, but I'll share them anyway.

Go and read Psalm 50. Actually I'll post it after this. It is perfect, especially "a crushed and humbled heart God will not spurn".

And then, in my sidebar, is the prayer of St. John of Kronstadt. Read it. Read it again.

And lastly, go to confession. Even though feelings are not sinful, they can wound you. If you keep them inside, and don't allow the healing balm of the grace of God in, healing will not take place. This is the purpose of confession, healing.

So, to sum up, LOVE, PRAY, and stay close to the Holy Sacraments (I guess I am assuming you are Catholic, if you are not, do try to make specific prayers of confession, listing specific feelings and actions that cause you pain and wound others).

I hope this help. I know I can articulate the answer, but living it is a much larger challenge. I'll pray for you if you pray for me, okay?