Wounded Healer

Just a quick sharing of Henri Nouwen's words of wisdom. Blessings!

The Wounded Healer

Nobody escapes being wounded. We all are wounded people, whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. The main question is not "How can we hide our wounds?" so we don't have to be embarrassed, but "How can we put our woundedness in the service of others?" When our wounds cease to be a source of shame, and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.

Jesus is God's wounded healer: through his wounds we are healed. Jesus' suffering and death brought joy and life. His humiliation brought glory; his rejection brought a community of love. As followers of Jesus we can also allow our wounds to bring healing to others.

Internet Trouble

Well, my internet connection has been super tenuous lately. I don't know what the problem is, so I don't know when I'll be posting more regularly. As an example, just getting to blogger "new post" screen took 15 minutes. The computer already is a time suck, but this is just ridiculous!

Meanwhile, we have had a hugely busy few weeks, with a 3 day family gathering, my eldest's 16th birthday, baby being cuter and cuter and more social every minute, and my garden getting out of control, and summer school commencing this week. All reasons to avoid the computer, and take this internet connection problem as a nudge to get off my chair and on with my life. Not to mention all the addictive news reading I have done lately, which has led to great bouts of despair and anxiety. Three days without that has been like a breath of fresh air!

So until my internet problem is fixed, and when my "real" life allows the time, I am off line.

Until then,

Toodles, and God Bless!

Books

Has anyone ever heard of the book "Mr. Blue"? I just picked it up at the thrift store and had a vague remembrance of this as a good out of print book to buy. Maybe I'll give it a go.

I am currently reading, "That Hideous Strength" by C.S. Lewis. I am only in the first 50 pages, but I am already getting a little creeped out (in a good way, by that I mean, it is a good read).

Anyone else reading anything good?

Prayer Journal

I was reviewing my prayer journal the other day. Shamefully, I hadn't looked at it much since the baby was born. As a matter of fact, the last entry I had written was, "Safe and healthy birth for Melanie and me." With great enthusiasm, I wrote and prayed, THANK YOU, as that prayer was answered in spades!

This doesn't mean I haven't prayed about anything since then, I just haven't been as intentional in my prayers, since I do much of it while nursing, in a half dozing state.

What I did notice while perusing my journal, is how many of the prayers have been answered. This shouldn't be shocking to me, but I do believe that deep down, I have always been afraid that praying is a little futile. God will do what God will do, and all that, and my little requests really are of no consequence. What I have found since keeping the journal is just the opposite. First, it really isn't about what God will or won't do, it is about how I submit to Him and bring my concerns and love to Him in communion with Him. It is how I offer my time and solidarity with those I pray for, and turn my energies outward, rather than in my usual position of naval gazing.

But the largest difference in my prayers since I have kept the journal is the gratitude that has occurred in my heart. I get the chance to remember what or who I prayed for, and either renew my zeal for their intentions if no outcome is obvious, or praise God with gratitude when the resolution has become known, in God's grace, with His love and compassion. I have a true sense of letting God work in my life, rather than using prayer as a way to just examine all my worries and pick through them like a jar of pebbles. Once the intention is written down and prayed about, it becomes much more than a worry, it becomes an offering to Our Lord.

The freedom to live after I have let God transform my worries into opportunities to Love is delicious.

So, this brings back to my prayer journal, and the fact that is has been dormant for a few months. It is now next to my nursing chair, and ready for action. If you need some prayers, leave them in the comment section, and you can rest assured the intentions will be entered swiftly. If you have had prayers answered, I will add prayers of gratitude instead of supplication.

May you all be blessed!

An Oldie but a Goodie

While I was cleaning out my inbox (part of a Massive Decluttering Program) I came across this. I thought I would share it before I deleted it, since it made me smile.


A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.
They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,' she said, 'my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the dolls, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'



'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'

A Prayer.......

Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods;
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death, because I don't know how to crochet.

A Trip to Grammy's Antiques

Three months old today!

A photo journey through my recent past

Okay, so I finally got my camera downloaded so I can share some of the reasons I have been so absent from this blog. Also, I have the "silver ball" photo and my garden update. This will be a picture loaded post.

The reason I am always typing one-handed.
One of my newer gardens, off my patio
Part of my patio (my newly graduated brother-in-law painted the chairs for me. Thank you!)
The focal point of my patio
Front yard garden, taken from in the garden, looking out over the front yard
My St. Francis statue ~ much more filled in around there now!
The mysterious silver ball. Any guesses now what it is?
My front yard garden, taken from the front yard, looking toward the house.

On a road trip to pick up our son from school. This is a photo of two of my daughters

Celebrating my bearded brother's birthday

Aforementioned newly graduated brother-in-law plus a lovely lady we got to know while he was at it. Congratulations to you both!

3rd son's seventh birthday, taken here with my dad and the sword he made for my son.
Our very own Fancy Nancy, when she turned 5 years old


and our own little Fancy Nancy in the ER after a leg injury that isn't a fracture, but still hurts and has her scooting around on her behind rather than walking. Of course, she would rather be carried, and I believe is enjoying a little "babying" since she lost her baby position once Melanie was born.

So there you have it. What I have been up to, not to mention all the shopping, cooking, laundry, etc, that is far too boring to photograph.

Blessings to you all, and have a great day!

7 Quick Takes Friday

So, yeah, it's been a whirlwind around here. Some notable events:

1. My ex-baby just turned 5. It was just one year ago I wrote "Turning Point", when she turned 4. I certainly didn't expect to be granted the gift of new life during this year, and be holding a two month old as my "baby" turned 5. What a difference a year makes!

2. My eldest son is home from school for the summer. We went on a mini-family vacation to pick him up half-way, and had a delightful weekend at a hotel with a pool. I even bought a new swimsuit, and baby had her first experience in a pool (except, of course, for the pool in which she was born).

3. My gardens are exploding. I hope to get photos today, and then you'll see how much bigger everything is since the last time I shared photos. The weeds are making a valiant effort to take over. I went out and purchased seven pairs of leather gloves, so all the kids except the baby can assist in the battle. We will conquer, but it takes perseverance, fortitude, and diligence to stay on top of the weeds. Every time I weed, I am reminded of the weed/vice parallel, and how virtue needs exactly the same perseverance, fortitude and diligence to survive. With God, all things are possible!

4. I finally had my postpartum check up. All is well, including my blood pressure and hemoglobin. My body has recovered quite well from the pregnancy and birth, except for my waist, which seems to have retired. Oh well, I didn't need it for anything, anyway.

5. We planned a picnic lunch with our fellow co-op family for the up-coming Tuesday, and that will be the official last day of school. My 4 youngest will do a page of math a day to avoid back sliding, and they will read everyday for the same reasons, but after Tuesday, I am free!!

6. We began our summer schedule this week for the cleaning and laundry. This way we can tweak it and make it realistic before summer really begins. So far, I am very encouraged. I think it will work, and we all should finish our daily chores before lunch, and then have the rest of the day free, all summer. Now to prepare a few menus and shopping lists, and we'll be set for relaxation and fun!

7. We implemented a new computer program that times the children's log in. The parents set the boundaries of available hours of operation, as well as allowed minutes. The program automatically logs the child off when their time is up. I LOVE THIS. No more trying to remember who gets how many minutes, no more sneaking computer time. What a load off my shoulders, and now my teens won't spend their entire summer in front of a computer screen. Of course they hate it, and think their summer is ruined. That's how I know we are doing something right, when I am accused of ruining their lives. Score one for the parents.

More at Conversion Diary.

Small Success

I can only come up with one this time, and that is the fact that today, I got up, and started to do the whole darn thing all over again. After I see most of what I do undone so very, very quickly, and my efforts so completely unnoticed, I figure that the fact I am still trying is a flippin' big success, actually. So there you all go, a little, bitter success. Hurumph.

(Just keeping it real folks. My home here and life is so not all sugar and sunshine. But we keep trying, and that, my friends, is the key.)

Most likely you'll find some nicer ones over at Faith and Family. Go check it out!

Small Successes

I haven't done this in a few weeks, but thought I would give it a try today.

1. Cleaned out the 4 youngest children's drawers, ended up with two large bags of cold weather clothes in the attic and two large bags for Goodwill. And all the laundry is caught up.

2. Cleaned my room, almost. Packed away my maternity clothes. Not that my regular clothes all fit yet, but I won't "apply myself" to getting back into them if I keep my stretchy pants out. So, I bought one pair of larger pants, found a few of my old skirts that fit, and cut white sugar and flour back out of my diet like I did while I was pregnant. We'll see what happens.

3. Caught up on the Melanie's baby book. Each of my kids has a baby book, and I don't want her to have the only empty one. So now, it's updated for the first 10 weeks.

So, that's all folks.

Oh, wait, I also finally wrote a few thankyou notes, including one to the lovely lady that made Melanie this hat. I'll give it to you when we start painting again, okay Barb?

See other success at Faith and Family Live

10 weeks old today

Imagination

Just a quick note to say just how much I love watching my 10 year old son. He is totally immersed in Star Wars right now, and I have observed him swinging his light saber around, doing daring jumps and flips on the trampoline, all the while so engrossed in his imaginary battle that the real world fades away. I can almost see his imagined battles by the intensity of his actions.

Just now, he came running down the hall with empty trash bags, completing his chore of emptying all the trash cans. He has a cape, his light saber is in a holster, and some old leather boots. He looks remarkably like Obi Wan in the newer movies. He moves through his day on the constant lookout for danger, like a good Jedi should. I love that he feels so free to immerse himself into his imagination, that the lack of self-consciousness allows for such free play.

What a privilege to be able to observe him in his freedom. All the times I question myself about deciding to home educate are mollified by seeing him as he is today. Confident, enthralled, active and just plain old happy. (Please know I am not saying kids educated in brick and mortar schools can not be confident, enthralled, active and plain old happy. I just know this boy, and his particular struggles and tender spots; also, at this very hour he would not be able to play, but would be at a desk.)

that's it. I just wanted to make a note of this day, so I can remember it later.

Blessings.

sorry

Okay, so I haven't gotten the photo of the silver ball up yet. I know, and I am sorry. I will soon. Any other guesses? My hands have been either full, or busy, and I haven't been able to type or post, or download photos. I will return most likely next week, as this week is full of company and graduations and other such festivities.

Enjoy the photo of my little "bunny" as she slumbers.

May you all be blessed!

God Grant Him Many Years!

As previously mentioned, today is my youngest son's 7th birthday. In honor of this, I am reposting something I wrote about him four years ago. This particular child was like a life raft for me at a very scary time. I will be forever grateful for him. Of course, all my children were well timed (not by me) gifts, each in their own way. But this life raft I am still holding onto, and so here is the rest of the story:



This is my sweet three year old son. He is a joy, and, I believe, a miracle.

It all began 4 years ago, when my dh quit his job, for ethical reasons. He had a healthy bonus coming, so to avoid conflict of interest, he quit prior to finding a different job. He also was getting fatigued in his chosen profession, and thought he might try something else. Didn't happen. Dh's ex-boss was furious to loose the brains of his organization, and accused dh of embezellment. Long story short, this all ended up with our bonus tied up in court, with dh having no job, and us having to deal with all the ugliness of a law suit.

Then, on September 10, 2001, dh opened a business account with most of the money we had left, and started his own business, as the luxury of doing something else had vanished. Of course, we all know what happened on September 11th, and all the fear and grief that accompanied that grim day.

On September 12th, I found out I was expecting my 6th child. This wasn't in the plan. This shouldn't have happened according to my charts. This just plain, old shouldn't have happened. Was I being cursed? Punished? How could God do this to me?? I mean, I live trying to trust God, remain open to life, yet could there be any worse timet to have a baby?: WHAT WAS HE THINKING??? This is what went through my head as I lay awake, night after night, and fought sleep day after day.

The pregnancy dragged on. I had high blood pressure, high blood sugar, had to switch insurance providers to save money, and therefore had to pay for the birth ourself. Meanwhile, dh's business is tanking in the post-9/11 stock market mess.

This is a really long story.

So I will skip most of it, except to say that God took the most exquisite care of us. We never had a need that wasn't filled. Somehow, we managed to go nearly two years with no income, and suffer no permanent repercussions. We found how many dear friends we had in our life. We found that our church was a refuge and a strength for us. We were able to turn to family for help without shame. And, we got our dear, sweet son, who couldn't have come at a better time. He soothed my soul, gave me joy, gave me the sweet simplicity of a new, lovely baby, at a time when the world seemed so complicated and dark.

People often assume that our seven children were a choice for us, you know, good for you, if that's what makes you happy, and all that. No, this really wasn't what I set out to do. I didn't have any desire for baby number 6, thought I was being punished, and was beside myself. When he was born, I realized that God did know better, and knew exactly what I would need at exactly the right time.

Now, things are better, dh's business is still surviving, we have another baby, and all the legal and financial mess is ancient history. And we still have this little precious boy, a gift, and a constant reminder to me of God's tender care.

***updated***

Of course, we have TWO more babies now, and my husband has gone through more career changes, and we have had more unexpected difficulties. But the lesson we learned with the arrival of our sixth child helped us weather all those things. We are still so very grateful for him, and the joy he has brought our lives.