Thursday, February 02, 2006

From my inbox

(Just make sure you aren't drinking anything when you read this. Don't say I didn't warn you!!!)

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own
This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in
the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: What did I do wrong?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

13 Things PMS Stands For:
1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweatpants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Suck
12. Pack My Stuff...... ..And my favorite one...
13. Potential Murder Suspect

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a
good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but
chocolate sings.

Another thing to giggle about... My husband, not happy with my mood
swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to
monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in
a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time
he'll buy me diamonds.

Here have some chocolate.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

*ROFL* Oh my! In my case PMS stands for Past My Shot (ERT). That's like PMS times 1,000! *Ack*

February 03, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead."


My dear, dear dh told me this joke once while I was PMSing. You know why they call it PMS? Because Mad Cow Syndrome was already taken. I could have shot him. In the knees, of course.

February 03, 2006  
Blogger Mairin :o) said...

That makes me laugh! Thanks, I needed it after a week of being supremely crabby!

February 03, 2006  
Blogger Lori said...

that is the best!!

February 04, 2006  

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