Ramblings of a tired mom
Let's see, thought I would toss a few things out before the furor of the school week begins once again.
Oops, gotta go change a dipey. Be back in a sec.
Okay. Now, this week went well school wise. I didn't
Oops, gotta mediate a dispute
Okay, where was I. I didn't do as much with the little two, but did plan to begin them full force this coming week. The kids actually seemed relieved to be back doing school work.
I spent the weekend so far varnishing woodwork, painting drywall, and moving stuff from our old digs into our new space. I still need to take down the Christmas
Oops, just got asked a question.
Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, still need to take down the Christmas tree and pack it all up. Our tree is a pre-lit fake, and I just noticed a section of it is dark. SO, do I save it and use it again next year, and try to fill in the space, or go get a deeply discounted new one? Isn't it awful that now fake Christmas trees are disposable? I will keep it, and make it work, don't worry. I could keep the thing up til Feb. 2 and still claim Liturgical observance, right? Any later, and I am just lazy.
I have been having some disturbing emotional surges lately. I find as I go through stuff from our bedrooms, I am coming across many "momentos". I am a sentimental person, and have a bad memory, so the combination means I save many little "things" to help me remember little fleeting moments. This has made me terribly sad this week. How quickly my childrens' time with me is passing. How things I meant to do someday are still undone, and my life is accelerating at such a pace, will I ever get to them? Why do I spend so much time in the past and future, I keep missing the presesnt? And yet when I make conscious efforts to "sieze the moment", let it burn into me, it still passes in a blink, and melds into the fuzzy past of memory. Reality is so fleeting, the rest is memory or hope. For some reason this has really been bothering me, and made it painful to look at pictures of the kiddos, even from just this past summer.
oops, guests have arrived to help varnish, so this interruption will be fatal to this post. Will try to get back to it tonight.
Blessings
(No time to proof, sorry)
Oops, gotta go change a dipey. Be back in a sec.
Okay. Now, this week went well school wise. I didn't
Oops, gotta mediate a dispute
Okay, where was I. I didn't do as much with the little two, but did plan to begin them full force this coming week. The kids actually seemed relieved to be back doing school work.
I spent the weekend so far varnishing woodwork, painting drywall, and moving stuff from our old digs into our new space. I still need to take down the Christmas
Oops, just got asked a question.
Okay, where was I? Oh yeah, still need to take down the Christmas tree and pack it all up. Our tree is a pre-lit fake, and I just noticed a section of it is dark. SO, do I save it and use it again next year, and try to fill in the space, or go get a deeply discounted new one? Isn't it awful that now fake Christmas trees are disposable? I will keep it, and make it work, don't worry. I could keep the thing up til Feb. 2 and still claim Liturgical observance, right? Any later, and I am just lazy.
I have been having some disturbing emotional surges lately. I find as I go through stuff from our bedrooms, I am coming across many "momentos". I am a sentimental person, and have a bad memory, so the combination means I save many little "things" to help me remember little fleeting moments. This has made me terribly sad this week. How quickly my childrens' time with me is passing. How things I meant to do someday are still undone, and my life is accelerating at such a pace, will I ever get to them? Why do I spend so much time in the past and future, I keep missing the presesnt? And yet when I make conscious efforts to "sieze the moment", let it burn into me, it still passes in a blink, and melds into the fuzzy past of memory. Reality is so fleeting, the rest is memory or hope. For some reason this has really been bothering me, and made it painful to look at pictures of the kiddos, even from just this past summer.
oops, guests have arrived to help varnish, so this interruption will be fatal to this post. Will try to get back to it tonight.
Blessings
(No time to proof, sorry)
posted by Renee at Sunday, January 15, 2006
3 Comments:
Renee -
I have a horrible, foggy, unpredictable memory, along with a sentimental streak a mile wide. I also have a penchant for hoarding photos, mementos, movie and event tickets, letters, notes, etc etc etc.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, I don't know what the answer is, but if you find out, let me know, as I am sure I will be in the same boat in a few years.
tangible.....it's in the tangible. that which we can touch, I think that keeps us saving those small momentos to savor some time down the line. I cherish a little notepad my hisband used at his business that has all his hand written (and illegible) notes to himself in it..it's proof......that he indeed once lived...I can be a real booger, but am sloppy sentimental.......:)
Children, especially our own, do grow and change way too fast. I, too, find myself getting emotional about the changes that will take place in this house in the next few years. Some days I feel like old age is knocking at my door, and I can almost panic. I remember, at times, looking forward to no more diapers, no more car seats, no more ear infections, no more interruptions during the best part of the movie, etc. But, knowing what's coming---the empty nest---is much worse than all of the work that goes on in the here and now.
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