Snippet from the past
I have many thoughts brewing, but not formed enough to post. In the meantime, I came across this old journal entry from July 31, 1998. I had just had my fourth baby two weeks prior (this is the same boy who just had his eighth birthday), and my oldest was five years old. This is for all the moms who comment here, and say, "I only have (three) or (four) kids. How do you manage seven??"
Believe me, when I wrote this post, I did not have time to garden, read, or even write much. But it was a time of love and sweetness, to be sure.
"Since the baby's birth I have had so much to write, and so little time to do it! He is two weeks old now, and starting to fill out a little. I find I am just now feeling fatigued, and more impatient with all the children! Its an awful dichotomy to feel so blessed and burdened at the same time. I do find I am so touched by his sweetness, and don't really mind being interrupted by him. The only thing that drives me to yell is when the kids fight, whine, or disregard what I say. Instead of correction, I feel like spontaneous combustion. All this makes it difficult to put to words the tender moments that occur daily. My goal is to stop the harshness from trampeling the tenderness."
And to tell the truth, that is still my goal, and constant struggle. I love my children so fiercely, and yet can get so troubled by all there is to do I can miss just being with them.
Anyway, today I did spend a good hour and a half in the pool with the 4 littlest ones. I played, and had quite a bit of fun.