Saturday, March 26, 2011

Another Condundrum

So I am now 20 weeks along in this pregnancy. I am going to be optimistic and say slightly over half way since I have never gone to 40 weeks. I still can't quite wrap my brain around this pregnancy, for some reason. It is like getting all you every wanted, and then some more. Disbelief, shock, and awe at the abundance of it all.

So I have a prescription for an ultrasound in my hot little hand. My midwife didn't request one, I did, so whether I fulfill it or not is entirely up to me.

I was set on finding out the gender of this child early on, since I did with my past two babies, and I loved it. But now, I can't decide. Hmmm.

On one hand, it would make this more of a person and less of a "pregnancy" for me, mentally. My head might get all the way wrapped around this once I have seen this baby. The place I was referred to has the 4D ultrasound, and I have never had that before. Comes with pictures and a CD.

On the other hand, well, I don't know what the other hand is. I don't know why I am ambivalent. Fear, maybe. What if they see something that requires more testing, or more testing is recommended and I have to decide it I'll pursue it or not. I know of a few people who had fear put in their hearts regarding the health of their baby because of a few "markers" on the US, and it tormented the rest of their pregnancy.

Well, I don't suppose any of you can answer this for me. The last two pregnancies the midwife (a different one) wanted the US, so it wasn't up to me. This will be my intention at Liturgy tomorrow. I suppose there is no wrong or right answer for this one anyway.

7 Comments:

Blogger Erin said...

The truth is that no matter what you decide, you face another set of "unknowns"--and making decisions like that can really wear on your soul. Will be praying for you. xoxo

March 26, 2011  
Blogger Melanie B said...

I pray that you have peace whatever you decide.

March 26, 2011  
Anonymous Matt Yonke said...

Tough choice. I think I'd jump in and go for it, better to know than to not know. But I'm a foolhardy young man, so take that for what it's worth. You and your baby have been in our evening Rosary intentions a lot lately and we'll certainly keep you there.

--Matt

March 26, 2011  
Blogger Mother Mayhem said...

I believe I'd have it done. It would be a lovely keepsake.

That's my 2 cents.

When I asked one of the specialists why Sweetums's health wasn't revealed in any of her ultrasounds, he simply reminded me of what my options would have been.

March 27, 2011  
Anonymous Jennifer said...

Renee,

First I read this post and before responding I scrolled down and read the post you made on Melanie's birthday. Beautiful! So here are my two cents. If it turns out that an ultrasound indicates reasons for further testing, and those further tests indicate that your child may be a "special needs" child, is there any intervention that would change the outcome? If not, then if it were me I would not have the ultrasound done, for the reasons you stated: it could take you down a slope of having another test done and another and adding more worry and tests aren't always accurate. If your child is born with special needs (and you aren't "prepared" with prior knowledge of the condition), God will give you and your family the grace you need to do everything you need to do to take care of him or her -- and friends will help! So, remember how beautiful everything has been with Melanie and be at peace!

You're in my prayers everyday,
Jennifer

March 27, 2011  
Anonymous jen said...

my msafp test came back elevated for down's syndrome and it meant that i had my 3-d ultrasound jumped forward a few weeks. the ultrasound was fine and it was cool to see my son at that stage. i got to meet him 9 weeks later at 29 weeks when i had an emergency c-section.

i would recommend getting the ultrasound and seeing where that takes you. if they want to do further testing, you can pray over it and make the decision. hopefully, the doctor who reads the ultrasound can point out everything and put your heart at ease.

matthew 6:34.

March 27, 2011  
Blogger priest's wife said...

My last 2 babies were high risk for a few reasons- so I had lots of US- but I didn't do any invasive testing like an amnio- I suppose I would want to know if they was a problem so I could give birth in a hospital...that's just me- praying for you!

March 29, 2011  

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