Where are we now?
Then there is my personal lack of discipline. I blog erratically, which doesn't lead to a strong readership. I blog about my own life, which can be very boring to read. I seem to have lost a bit of my reflective ability, or the things I reflect on are too personal to put out on the internet, too controversial (I don't want to offend), or too common (how many posts on pregnancy, home making and gardening can I do, when I do the same things over and over?)
I never have seen myself as any sort of expert, so my blog won't ever be telling people what to do or how to do it. I have found lots of tricks to make my life easier that I would like to share, but so many of them are in response to my life, and not generally applicable (like making my kids stand in the corner instead of spanking them. Worked very well for me. I couldn't guarantee that it will for anyone else). I am not going to instruct people in home schooling techniques (o, please, I can barely get by myself). What I have done appears to be working, but there was never a formula for me. If I could write a book, it would be called, "Flying by the Seat of my Pants", because that is how I have home schooled, gardened, raised my kids, managed my marriage and kept a budget. It is how I plan menus and how I respond to just about everything. I don't recommend it, but it works for me. But could I, in good conscience, offer my technique as anything to imitate? Absolutely not. It boils down to this. I am exceptionally flexible. I try to put a plan into action, but things are constantly changing, so I must make constant adjustments to my plan. The final outcome is usually barely recognizable compared to my original vision. At first, that made me feel like a failure. Now, not so much. But I can not make a home making blog about it. No beautiful photos to share, generally, but there are so many, many delightful surprises!
Anyway, now, I am completely wrapped up in this pregnancy (only 6 weeks to go), relishing the new life inside me and wondering if THIS will be the last time I get to do this. Relishing my teens, my new graduate, the two year old and the middle kids, who are growing and blossoming every day. So much abundance has led to fewer and fewer words.
I think that is how it is supposed to be. Matters of the head are being transferred to matters of the heart, where I am treasuring them and contemplating them, and and storing them. Just not writing about them.