Then, and now.
During the "Theology of the Body" retreat he went on, he learned that men look outward, and have the desire to slay dragons. Women tend to gather the family, nurture and give. Every so often she has to reposition the man's gaze back to the family when his dragon slaying takes him away too much. Thus, a tension is always there. This is my struggle. I am not so gentle about turning his gaze my way. As a matter of fact, by the time I realize that we in the "repositioning" mode again, I am so hurt and angry, I use tools like guilt and recrimination, instead of a steady, gentle pressure. It's a pattern we have repeated for our entire marriage, and as more and more children are added to our family, I get more and more resentful of his dragon slaying.
I don't really know where to go from here. I go back and forth from hope for the future to despair, that it will always be a love unfulfilled for me. I want to be his treasure (second to God, of course). I don't want to have to keep reminding him of my presence. I want him to make his dragon slaying decisions after considering me and the family, not the other way around. Is that crazy??