Tuesday, October 18, 2005

A True Story

This is my sweet three year old son. He is a joy, and, I believe, a miracle.

It all began 4 years ago, when my dh quit his job, for ethical reasons. He had a healthy bonus coming, so to avoid conflict of interest, he quit prior to finding a different job. He also was getting fatigued in his chosen profession, and thought he might try something else. Didn't happen. Dh's ex-boss was furious to loose the brains of his organization, and accused dh of embezellment. Long story short, this all ended up with our bonus tied up in court, with dh having no job, and us having to deal with all the ugliness of a law suit.

Then, on September 10, 2001, dh opened a business account with most of the money we had left, and started his own business, as the luxury of doing something else had vanished. Of course, we all know what happened on September 11th, and all the fear and grief that accompanied that grim day.

On September 12th, I found out I was expecting my 6th child. This wasn't in the plan. This shouldn't have happened according to my charts. This just plain, old shouldn't have happened. Was I being cursed? Punished? How could God do this to me?? I mean, I live trying to trust God, remain open to life, yet could there be any worse timet to have a baby?: WHAT WAS HE THINKING??? This is what went through my head as I lay awake, night after night, and fought sleep day after day.

The pregnancy dragged on. I had high blood pressure, high blood sugar, had to switch insurance providers to save money, and therefore had to pay for the birth ourself. Meanwhile, dh's business is tanking in the post-9/11 stock market mess.

This is a really long story.

So I will skip most of it, except to say that God took the most exquisite care of us. We never had a need that wasn't filled. Somehow, we managed to go nearly two years with no income, and suffer no permanent repercussions. We found how many dear friends we had in our life. We found that our church was a refuge and a strength for us. We were able to turn to family for help without shame. And, we got our dear, sweet son, who couldn't have come at a better time. He soothed my soul, gave me joy, gave me the sweet simplicity of a new, lovely baby, at a time when the world seemed so complicated and dark.

People often assume that our seven children were a choice for us, you know, good for you, if that's what makes you happy, and all that. No, this really wasn't what I set out to do. I didn't have any desire for baby number 6, thought I was being punished, and was beside myself. When he was born, I realized that God did know better, and knew exactly what I would need at exactly the right time.

Now, things are better, dh's business is still surviving, we have another baby, and all the legal and financial mess is ancient history. And we still have this little precious boy, a gift, and a constant reminder to me of God's tender care.


Blogger Possum Pearl said...

*Hugs!* Thanks so much for sharing this part of your life! We often get bogged down in our worry, thinking we are troubling God with our prayers. It is with absolute relief when we take a deep breath and remember that He will take care of His own.

October 18, 2005  
Blogger Lori said...

God is truly amazing.....I laugh only because we think we know so much, and God always shows us He knows so much better! your son is beautiful! I thank you too for sharing!!

October 18, 2005  
Blogger Mairin :o) said...

What a beautiful story.. your openness to life and struggle to live God's will when it was so contrary to your own.

Thank you for sharing this part of your life.

October 18, 2005  
Blogger Ginger said...

Inspiring story! You're blessed to have a real, live, walking-around reminder of God's care. :)

October 18, 2005  
Blogger ukok said...

You have an adorable little boy :) (i'm sure that all your children are just as adorable)

I'm so glad that you shared this, it's a beautiful and encouraging story. God is Good, and He will always give us sufficient grace to deal with what lies ahead!

God Bless you and your family!

October 20, 2005  
Blogger Lori said...

Woo-Hoo! I love hearing stories like this. I don't like the part that you had it tough, but that God did provide and you see everyday the blessings with #6 and also now #7! Your little boy is beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

October 20, 2005  
Blogger alicia said...

My # 5 child was a similar case - totally unexpected and in the midst of financial and personal chaos. But God pulled out such great things for us through what seemed to be a cruel joke.
I love having stories like this to share with patients who are utterly dismayed at the news of a pregnancy. THank you so very much!

October 20, 2005  
Blogger Lisa said...

I just LOVE little ones and so enjoyed this post. Yes, what a great gift to you.

October 22, 2005  
Blogger Jamie said...

I knew I was pg on Sept. 11! (Not as dramatic a story, but similar feelings of "What, God?" and worry because my husband needed to find a new job in the financial sector.)

October 22, 2005  
Blogger Philothea Rose said...

I also had similar feelings with my 4th child, and learned the same beautiful lesson god taught you. He really does know what He's doing.

October 23, 2005  

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