Aww, gosh, you guys are too kind...

In the last month or so I have come across 3 different people who gave me a blogger reflection award.

Blogger Reflection Award: this award should make an individual reflect on five bloggers who have been an encouragement, a source of love, impacted you in some way, and who provided a Godly example. In other words, five dear bloggers who, when you reflect upon them, you are filled with a sense of pride and joy of knowing them and being blessed by them.

From Deb:

Renee at Crazyacres surely has to be amongst the nominees for being a blogger who inspires and encourages. A busy wife and homeschooling mother, Renee is a talented iconographer and also teaches students how to write icons. An Eastern Rite Catholic, she gifts me immensely with her beautiful posts of the rich liturgy of the church, on her iconography and her family life. I read Renee’s blog long before I commmented there and I secretly had the hope that she would connect with me in some way as I had always enjoyed her insightful and deeply resonating reflections . I was delighted when she began reading my blog and we soon developed a rapport that I greatly value.

From Amy Caroline:

Mary Poppins Not at Crazy Acres
I can’t even remember how I first came across her blog. Her iconography amazes me. Her pure spirit and faith, her willingness to take on the job of prayer warrior without even being asked, her tender and loving spirit are all inspiration.

From Margaret Mary:

Crazy Acres, the blog of my dear old friend, “Mary Poppins Not”, who is really my dear younger friend, as I knew her when she was a child (and I was already an adult). I was so happy to find her on the internet recently. MPN shares about her faith, her family, and her iconography. She has been an example to me as a blogger in sharing from the heart rather than just from the mind.

Well, thank you guys. I can't say this doesn't mean something to me. Very very kind of you.

Well, my job will now be to pass this on to 5 others. That is the difficult part, because it is the people I have come to know here on the blogosphere that keep me blogging. So many times I am convinced I have nothing else to add to the great conversations, but the thought of not engaging you all regularly is too much to consider. So choosing only 5 will be difficult, and in no way belittles the ones I didn't choose. I just have to go with the people that have had the most impact on ME. So in a way this is a big thank you to these five, but I would really like to thank everyone who visits here and especially those that leave comments. I'll say it again, I have no stat counter or anything, so the only way I know who visits are those that leave a note. Anyway. I digress.

Of course the obvious choices would be the 3 who nominated me. I love each of their blogs and have been enriched very much from their different perspectives and talents. But in an interest of spreading the love, I will choose 5 others.

First, there is Owen. He dislikes contests and awards, but I just want to say a huge THANK YOU to him for his open, loving heart and encouraging presence. Consider yourself exempted from passing this on if you choose, Owen.

He is a husband, father, artist, child of God, and a prayer warrior. I have come to understand my own desires to create, my unfortunate ability to hide from God and how to let Him assist me to over come that bad habit, as well as having new appreciation for my own dear husband and his burdens as father and provider. Owen has suffered with grace and openness, and given me so much more courage to endure my own crosses. Thank you, Owen!


Famous as she is, my next choice is Danielle Bean. Danielle always helps me appreciate my life and my motherhood. She sees joy is so many small moments that I might otherwise pass by. She has helped me develop a habit of seeing the beauty in an ordinary day, and to embrace the moment with love. Thank you, Danielle.

Then there is Suzanne. She is an artist, mom, and all around ray of sunshine. Always positive, even in dark times. Again, the ability to pull grace out of sadness, love out of fear and joy out of the ordinary has enriched me very much. Thank you, Suzanne.

Another lady I have read for a long time, but never commented so I don't think she even knows who I am is Rae from Journey Mama. Beautiful, loving writer who also has a lovely ability to find comfort in the common moments of each day. She has a huge heart and freely shares the unique life she is living. Thank you.

And lastly, Ginger, the Joyful Woman, has given me so much richness to enliven the way I look at things. Her wisdom and wit and beautiful photography and reflections are something I look forward to. It was Ginger who got me hiking, because of her photos. I now see beauty much more frequently, because of her.

Feel free to pass these on if you choose, and any of you readers who want to spontaneously nominate someone, please do. It was really difficult to choose 5, and I think that is why Owen dislikes this sort of thing. I can't say I blame him for that, but, I did my best, and when I get my blog list done in my sidebar, you can be assured that each one of those bloggers have enriched and gifted me.

Have a blessed day!

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day!
In honor of every self-sacrificing mother out there, here is a quote that hit me right between the eyes. I was reading this to my almost three year old daughter, and when I came to this part, I paused. This is the answer to the unsettling hesitation I have about the costs of mothering. I see my body, so changed by the process of carrying and birthing seven children. I see the hesitation to endure whatever the future has in store. I see the fear of "losing myself" amidst the constant daily demands. I see the desire, and yet am fearful, of becoming real.

*****************************************

"What is REAL?" asled the Rabbit one day. Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"
The only toy that was kind to the Rabbit was the Skin Horse. The Skin Horse had lived in the nursery longer than any of the others, and he was very wise.
"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens when a child loves you. It takes a long time. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, you get loose in the joints, and very shabby."
"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.
"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse. "But when you are Real you don't mind being hurt."
The Rabbit sighed. He longed to become Real, and yet the idea of growing shabby was rather sad. He wished that he could become Real without uncomfortable things happening to him.

from "The Velveteen Rabbit" by Margery Williams.
*****************************************

And I offer a sincere prayer of thanksgiving to the Heavenly King, Consoler, the Spirit of Truth; Who is in all places and sees all things; Treasury of blessings, and Giver of Life, for granting me the gifts of my children, and the many opportunities to become REAL.

And to all the Mothers reading, and to all the women who mother other people's children, and to all the women who care for others and give of themselves, Happy Mother's Day, and may God grant you many years in peace, health and happiness.


(adapted from Mother's Day, 2005)

Makes you go "hmmm

Recently, on one of my thrift store jaunts, I came across an old edition of "Hans Brinker". I have never read this book, but it is on all the the good book lists for children, so I picked it up (for a mere .59).

I just noticed in the front cover this inscription:

"To a very brave little girl. From her loving and adoring mommy."

How on earth could someone get rid of that book? Unless all her books had such inscriptions, I don't see how it is possible. If I had such an inscription in one of my childhood books, it would be one of my most treasured possessions. I just can not figure that one out. (The book was from 1963, so it really isn't THAT old, really. Right??)

Restoration

(image found here)






Energy. I never seem to have enough.

I love being around people. I had a career that was completely people centered. I am the oldest in my family and have always felt quite responsible for all my brothers' well being. I have a large family. I love to be hostess to guests at crazyacres, and I very much enjoy social gatherings when the people present are near and dear to me. (It is a little more challenging when the crowds are strangers to me.) I love blogging and having such a community to draw from and give to. All this requires energy, emotional, spiritual, physical. Sometimes I can get so depleted and confused regarding my place, my purpose, and my responsibilities. I can get confused between wanting to give love and care, and wanting to get affection and approval. I pray regularly for discernment in this area, and for healing when my confusion leads to hurts, whether my own or others.

I find what helps me the most is taking time to think and pray and reflect on a situation. If I rush through my life, I can inadvertently place myself in a hurtful situation, or worse, inadvertently hurt others. If I do not take care to restore my energy, I will end up missing many opportunities for grace.

Prayer and music restore me. Burning candles restores me. Reading restores me. Going for long walks outside restores me. Basically retreating from the world, and being alone for a while gives me the energy to do what I love, and what I feel called to do.

This shouldn't surprise me, since it is what Jesus showed us to do when He was feeling drained and fatigued. He would go off alone and pray. When he was sad about John the Baptist's death, he went off alone to pray and be restored. When he was facing His death, he went alone to a garden to pray and prepare. He would retreat from the crowd and be restored so He could carry out His mission.

What do you all do to be restored, especially when you are feeling emotionally or spiritually depleted? Comments are open for this one.

Stay with your Pain

(image is "Our Lady of Lonliness" from www.theartofmexico.com)

"When you experience the deep pain of loneliness, it is understandable that your thoughts go out to the person who was able to take that loneliness away, even if only for a moment. When, underneath all the praise and acclaim, you feel a huge absence that makes everything look useless, your heart wants only one thing -- the be with the person who once was able to dispel these frightful emotions. But it is that absence itself, the emptiness within you, that you have to be willing to experience, not the one who could temporarily take it away.

It is not easy to stay with your loneliness. The temptation is to nurse your pain or to escape into fantasies about people who will take it away. But when you can acknowledge your loneliness in a safe, contained place you make your pain available for God's healing.

God does not want your loneliness; God wants to touch you in a way that permanently fulfills your deepest need. It is important that you dare to stay with your pain and allow it to be there. You have to own your loneliness and trust that it will not always be there. The pain you suffer now is meant to put you in touch with the place where you most need healing, your very heart. The person who was able to touch that place has revealed to you your pearl of great price.

It is understandable that everything you did, are doing, or plan to do seems completely meaningless compared with that pearl. That pearl is the experience of being fully loved. When you experience deep loneliness, you are willing to give up everything in exchange for healing. But no human being can heal that pain. Still, people will be sent to you to mediate God's healing, and they will be able to offer you the deep sense of belonging that you desire and that gives meaning to all you do.

Dare to stay with your pain, and trust in God's promise to you."

(Spiritual Imperative from Nenri J. M. Nouwen in "The Inner Voice of Love")


If you are lonely, let this wash over you and sink in, and watch for the people God will send you to help.

If you are not lonely, open yourself to being God's mediator to assist and heal those lonely around you. Let's hold each other up as we make our journey through the Great Fast and towards Pascha!