Energy. I never seem to have enough.
I love being around people. I had a career that was completely people centered. I am the oldest in my family and have always felt quite responsible for all my brothers' well being. I have a large family. I love to be hostess to guests at crazyacres, and I very much enjoy social gatherings when the people present are near and dear to me. (It is a little more challenging when the crowds are strangers to me.) I love blogging and having such a community to draw from and give to. All this requires energy, emotional, spiritual, physical. Sometimes I can get so depleted and confused regarding my place, my purpose, and my responsibilities. I can get confused between wanting to give love and care, and wanting to get affection and approval. I pray regularly for discernment in this area, and for healing when my confusion leads to hurts, whether my own or others.
I find what helps me the most is taking time to think and pray and reflect on a situation. If I rush through my life, I can inadvertently place myself in a hurtful situation, or worse, inadvertently hurt others. If I do not take care to restore my energy, I will end up missing many opportunities for grace.
Prayer and music restore me. Burning candles restores me. Reading restores me. Going for long walks outside restores me. Basically retreating from the world, and being alone for a while gives me the energy to do what I love, and what I feel called to do.
This shouldn't surprise me, since it is what Jesus showed us to do when He was feeling drained and fatigued. He would go off alone and pray. When he was sad about John the Baptist's death, he went off alone to pray and be restored. When he was facing His death, he went alone to a garden to pray and prepare. He would retreat from the crowd and be restored so He could carry out His mission.
What do you all do to be restored, especially when you are feeling emotionally or spiritually depleted? Comments are open for this one.
Labels: matters of the heart