Monday, May 02, 2005

Blogging and my dear husband

In the short time I have blogged, I haven't said much about my husband. I thought I would share a few detail about this lucky, lucky man.

First, he does know I blog, he doesn't read what I write unless invited (his idea, not mine), and I never write anything about our relationship unless he knows about it.

Second, he read my post from Friday, and the responses, and was quite moved and impressed with the level of care and concern our St. Blog commumity has for each other.

Third, I am a critical person (Darn it) and I have written about some of my disappointment in my marriage, and not much about the goodness of it. I guess I don't need to "work out" anything if I am content and happy. BUT, my dh and I have a great story, and I will share a sketch of it.

We met on a blind date on Jan. 24, 1991. After getting my number from a mutual friend, he called, and we spent about a week speaking on the phone. By the time we met, all that was left was to check out his physical appearance and make sure they met my rather broad requirements. They did. We had a great evening - sat up til four in the morning talking, playing Pente and chess. We spoke to each other every day after that, and he told me that during our first dinner, he called his friend to cancel the "plan B" escape movie. He told his room mate, "No movie tonight - I just met the woman I am going to marry.'

We were informally engaged six weeks later while speaking with a priest about having a Tridentine Latin Wedding. He said he could do that, and what date would we like? All of a sudden, we had a wedding date in October, so dh got down on one knee in the church parking lot, and proposed.

We were married 7 months later. In that time I had to meet his family in Denver, and plan an entire wedding. Our wedding was the first Tridentine wedding in 30 years in the diocese - a singular grace for us.

We honeymooned in Hawaii, and came back with our best souviner, our oldest ds.

Since then, my husband has been a busy, busy man. He feels strongly that he needs to use his talents for God's glory, so he sings at church regulary, often at extra things like weddings and funerals. He got a MBA from the #1 school in the country (meanwhile we had 3 more children, and I began homeschooling). After that, he started his own business so that the profits his talents earned were going to God's work instead of to his miserly boss (meanwhile, we had 2 more children). This is another story for another day, but my dh had to conquer many a dragon get his business up and running.

Now he is running his own investment fund, involved in the neighborhood organization, involved in the kid's choir, invloved at church (cantor help), and last but not least, he is beginning a Eastern Rite Great Books College. This has been in the works for about a year (meanwhile we had another child), and looks as though it really is going to become something more than an idea. My dh went to
a Great Books, liberal arts Catholic college. He feels strongly that this kind of education can help restore our Christian Culture, and now that he has discovered the richness of the Eastern Catholic Churches, he can see how beneficial Patristics, Philosophy, Theology, and other studies can be to the modern man, expecially when combined with the Divine Liturgy, iconography, beautiful music, and a search for "truth".

My dh is an intense man. He is intensely religious, intensely aware of the reason we exist, intensely funny, intensely devoted to the things he holds dear. He has a full plate, and while many of his projects can wait for him to get back to them when he has time, the kids and I can not. He knows this and his struggle is making sure we know that we are his priority, that his pursuits are for reasons free of self importance and that he truly is doing God's will for his life, best he can tell.

There is so much more I could write about our story, and various trails we have been down these past 12 years. It has been a great adventure so far, and while dh and I differ in the way we respond to adventure, so far we have gone down the path side by side. This is what I want more than anything - a true unity of purpose. This last project of his is stretching me, and forcing me to grapple with large and uncomfortable issues. Again, that is another post for another time. The real issue now is making certain that as a couple, we encourage each other to do the things God has called us to, and at the same time, keeping our marriage and family a soft place to fall, a safe harbor, and a place we can rest easy in the knowledge of our place.


Blogger Julie D. said...

Your dh sounds like a wonderful guy and perfect for you which is, of course, just as it should be ... LOVE the phone call to his roommate.

One practical note I will interject on the daily marriage thing ... if you don't have a weekly date I would suggest start trying to have one. It won't work out every time and sometimes it may just be going to the grocery store together but it makes a world of difference.

May 02, 2005  
Blogger Kate said...

Don't worry about sounding negative...I think all of us understand that even the most wonderful husband can get on ones nerves sometimes, and there is a constant tension between your way of doing and being adn his way of doing and being which is as much a source of richness as of irritation.

Lovely love story, btw. I hope you tell your children that story often - it will give them a good model to follow and high standards for their own marriages someday.

May 02, 2005  
Blogger Adinah said...

I wasn't sure where to post you a note, so am winging it writing here, I am new to this whole blogging thing, my friend "talked" me into it! That's for the great feedback on the icon. I am still processing all the feelings from the week. The peace is tremendous, isn't it? It's just so awesome. I am definately going to keep at it. I think it's a wonderful form of worship. I really enjoyed seeing your photos as the icons took shape, one of the gals in our class brought a camera. I didn't think to so that. It gives people who haven't done it a great perspective on how things take shape. Will be in touch and keeping my eye on your pages!

May 02, 2005  
Blogger Anne said...

I love your story! My husband and I met on a blind set-up on a trip to Las Vegas with friends. He knew he wanted to marry me within 24 hours, he asked six weeks later, and we were married in October just about 7 months after we met. And it was the best thing I ever did!

I love it when I hear from other women who are happily married!

May 02, 2005  
Blogger Kitty said...

I moved to Gallup, NM in May of 1978. June 5 I met this funky looking guy with an afro hairdo and no clue on which colors go together. Two weeks later we were engaged, married 6 months later. 26 years later we have 5 great kids 16-24. Hubby is the senior partner in a Law Firm in Gallup. I believe you probably know one of his partners if not a couple of them. LM's oldest son JJ, just won an art award of $1000 for the doing, painting, whatever it's called of a beautiful icon. He's done a couple of more since then. They are a lovely family and we are glad to have them here.
Married life is not always easy, but having God involved seems to help. Kitty

May 02, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Beautiful posts. Thank you for sharing your ups and downs with us. We all have them. Keeping you in our prayers! Yeah Marriage!

May 03, 2005  
Blogger alicia said...

I met my husband on march 23 1973 - he was dating my roommate. They broke up 6 weeks later around the time that my then boyfriend dumped me. we fell in love over Memorial Day weekend, decided to get married in June, told our families in August, and tied the knot Feb 23, 1974. It hasn't been easy - we are both strong-willed and both the oldest child of six. But by the grace of God and the blessings of a sacramental marriage, we are still hanging in there.
You seem to have a good idea of what marriage involves. I am so sad when I see couples more worried about the wedding than the marriage!

May 03, 2005  
Blogger Adinah said...

I would like hering more about the Transfiguration college thing. I am in a M. Theology program now. Never enough learning for me, I'm the kind that eats it up. I also teach on the side, so as to not waste what I am taking in. Makes sense.

May 03, 2005  
Blogger Renee said...

Alicia - dh and I are both the oldest of largish families. That is probably our biggest obstacle to a peacful relationship. You gave me an idea for a post!

Ayekah : We are in the process of beginning a blog about the college. It is still in formation i.e. accreditation, curriculum, funding, etc. but is slated to open fall of '06.

Kitty - JJ was staying here with us when he did his latest icon - a great kid.

Seems as if many people make the decision to love quicky, and that their decision making is based on more than "feelings". I think the church would be in a healthier place is some how it could instruct in choosing a marriage partner carefully.

May 04, 2005  
Blogger Debbie said...

I know I must sound like a broken record, to those who know me, but I LOVE stories of how couples met. Thanks for sharing!

May 05, 2005  
Blogger owenswain said...

Intense well wishing for you both.

June 21, 2007  

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