Two years ago on May 20th....

My first look at my daughter *sigh*


at 18 months












Two years ago tomorrow, my baby was born. Just like everyone says, I can't believe it was two years ago already! How quickly the time went. Such a cliche, but what else is there to say?

There is something about marking the years with children's birthdays that makes the passing of time more palatable, yet more heart-wrenching. While my little one is beyond-words cute, the toothless, drooling, chubbers is long gone. She decided to wean a few months ago, so no more long mornings in bed, with her rubbing my face while she nursed, and while I drank up her sweet baby smell. She doesn't grab my face and suck on my chin anymore. Now she hugs me hard around the neck, kisses my cheek, and says, "I lub you, mommy." Can't really complain, can I?

And yet despite the happiness of having a happy, healthy two year old, I feel a sadness. The sadness of the end of an era. Never have I had a two year old without having another infant, or at least a gi-normous belly just waiting to deliver us another joy. I know I may still have another baby, but what I know is I may have another baby. In the previous years, I never had time to wonder before I knew I was having another baby.

And even if I do have the blessing of another baby, the era of rapid fire additions to the family is over. The tangle of wee ones, with chubby legs, cushy cheeks and baby teeth, this is past. I have gangly children now; tall, large toothed, approaching-rational children. Only two little chubbies left.

When I look back at the photo of all seven of them the day the older children met the baby, they were all so small. In two years, my landscape has changed dramatically.

Never-the-less, this little two year old is a delight. She is the princess of crazyacres, and her subjects adore her. She can say everyone's name when asked, but only calles herself "Baby". She yells 'Night mom' over and over after I place her in bed, until she can no longer hear my response. She calls the older kids, "Guys", and loves getting read to by her nearly 13 year old brother. She calls the little hair band that keeps her bangs out of her face her "pretty", and has a great affinity for shoes. She loves dolls, and cares for them tenderly.

She has what I consider an extraordinary sense of humor for a child her age. She is outgoing, laughs loud and deep, and knows how to get what she wants. She is orderly for a little one, loves books and birds and kitties and music and church. She knows she is loved, she is certain of her place in the world, and she is never alone. Baby, my prayer for you is that you don't loose one iota of these attributes, but build on them as you grow in the knowledge that all these wonderful gifts are from your Heavenly Father, who loves you without reserve. May He hold you in his hand and bless you abundantly and steadily with His loving embrace. I love you, little one, and am so blessed to call you my daughter~