Metanoia
Metanoia is a Greek word meaning a change of mind. A radical revision and transformation of our whole mental process. That change of mind is something whereby God takes center place in our consciousness, in our awareness, and in our minds.
I feel this occurring in me lately. I have begged God for a new heart many times, and now I feel it opening up, and it is painful. But I see people in an entirely new way, and in this loving way I am beginning to get a glimpse of the possibility of how God sees all of us. Mind you, I am only seeing glimpse. And it is causing great disturbance in my emotions and my relationships. I can not tolerate nasty words and feelings, and yet I can not control them in myself, let alone in all the people I encounter. And yet I can feel the wounding they cause, I can tell the damage they are doing, I see the decay that follows the hurtful and selfish words and actions. And what to do? I feel like I love everyone, and they just can not comprehend it. They don't believe it, and some plain old don't care. I want to be a peacemaker, a meek and loving peacemaker, and yet I fear rejection, hostility and criticism. I feel Our Lord is molding me for some work, and in preparing me, he is stripping away all my defenses, and now I am standing naked, vulnerable and tender. Now what?
I feel this occurring in me lately. I have begged God for a new heart many times, and now I feel it opening up, and it is painful. But I see people in an entirely new way, and in this loving way I am beginning to get a glimpse of the possibility of how God sees all of us. Mind you, I am only seeing glimpse. And it is causing great disturbance in my emotions and my relationships. I can not tolerate nasty words and feelings, and yet I can not control them in myself, let alone in all the people I encounter. And yet I can feel the wounding they cause, I can tell the damage they are doing, I see the decay that follows the hurtful and selfish words and actions. And what to do? I feel like I love everyone, and they just can not comprehend it. They don't believe it, and some plain old don't care. I want to be a peacemaker, a meek and loving peacemaker, and yet I fear rejection, hostility and criticism. I feel Our Lord is molding me for some work, and in preparing me, he is stripping away all my defenses, and now I am standing naked, vulnerable and tender. Now what?
posted by Renee at Wednesday, September 05, 2007
4 Comments:
Now you wait. And even in the waiting there are blessings as God continues His good work in you.
Beautiful post, Renee :-)
Lord have Mercy! I agree with dear Deb, it is a beautiful post, and a blessing!
I don't know what comes next, but I know I'll be waiting to see what it is, and how the Holy Spirit works through you. I can imagine that it's scary to feel this way, but this post has filled me with hope!
It's amazing what God can do in His children, what He is able to awaken in us, how He gives us eyes to see and ears to hear.
He sends conversion upon conversion - some people call them breakthroughs but your term Metanoia captures it well.
Thanks for sharing your heart.
Post a Comment
<< Home